My son is a junior at Dartmouth college and faces a dilemma. He has been accepted for an intership next spring at a huge law firm in NYC--and he was looking forward to it. This fall, however, he's become much more active in his fraternity and has lately gotten encouragement from others to run for president of the frat. The two activities-internship, presidency--conflict in regards to timing and so he has to make a choice.
Enter John Donohoe, the current CEO of Ebay who was also a Chi Gam brother and a Dartmouth graduate. Apparently, Mr. Donohoe came to the fraternity last week and spoke to the brothers, imparting some of his lessons in life. These included things like EQ is more important than IQ, the importance of family; Sean was inspired. They had a beer together and I am still waiting to see the photos (do I really want to see the photos???).
So Sean is seriously leaning towards forgoing this particular internship and forging his path as a leader in the frat. He wants to contribute and I believe he has a passion to contribute something to this group, to help bring them to a higher level of greatness and perhaps to fulfill a more noble dream that goes beyond beer pong.
Enter Nancy Dixon and her perspectives on dialogue. As I read this slim pamphlet and thoughts of Sean as a great leader, perhaps a great business leader one day, enter my head, I wondered what I could share with him about leadership and dialogue that would make a difference to him at this point in his life. Perhaps I could take an opportunity to build on some of the things Mr. Donohoe shared--the idea that all human beings have the ability and wisdom and right to make meaning of their worlds; the notion that group knowledge, and organizational learning, is not the currency of the experts but rather belongs to all of us; the concept and praciticality of dialogue as a set of skills and a strategy to bring out into the open, make transparent, an authentic self which could remain hidden (and unsung, untouched, forgotten, buried) in each one of us; the importance of suspending judgement, of humility, of accessing ignorance, of the hope and reality that transformation can happen.
I think I will just offer him the Dixon book and see what he has to say about it when he's done.
Hmmm – beer bongs or internships… Oh the dilemmas of youth.
ReplyDeleteThose are two extremely tough choices. As president of a frat, there are the life-long “brotherhood” business connections that have enormous payoffs. It’s a great experience in leadership and it looks very impressive on a resume. That role offers great responsibility that will present some wonderful life lessons.
The internship at the New York law firm is an amazing opportunity that will give him an enormous head start when looking for employment after college or in pursuing the next step of his education. The internship will also look great on a resume. That experience will show him what the real business/legal world is about. This will give him a lot to reflect upon as he continues in his undergrad courses as he will be able to compare the ideas presented in class with what he observed in the real world.
Regarding Dixon: Will he embrace the social awareness and humanitarian contribution from Freire and Bohm? With Mezirow, perhaps he will look at the fraternity or law firm and consider the “…individuals and the institutions with which they interact which unknowingly impart distorted assumptions.” Maybe you can coordinate an Argyris Model II inquiry with him. Or he could follow Johnson and Johnson with either choice and work with the groups for a common goal.
Please let us know two things: (1) his opinion of Nancy Dixon’s ideas and (2) his final decision. I’m pulling for the internship, but I think I’ll bet a case of beer on the frat choice.
Ahhhhh, the motherhood trap again! I don't envy you these experiences with your children. In fact, I ache already at the thought of the dilemmas that my daughters will present as they grow up.
ReplyDeleteOn the surface though, and especially as Steve has just laid it out, these aren't necessarily two totally bad options to be choosing from. There will be life lessons learned in either choice but more importantly, lessons will be learned in the making of the decision itself.
I think it is fascinating that he has the opportunity to be influenced in his decision by both his mother and the CEO of ebay - you do know that puts you in a totally new spot in the rankings, right?
My only suggestions is that you don't just hand him the book but that you share your personal perspectives on developmental talk and group dynamics with him. You have good ones you know!